Staying near Jakarta Airport
I’m in Tangerang, a suburban town on the outskirts of Jakarta, about 20-25 minutes from the international airport. I don’t have any specific plans, but after the flight from Ambon yesterday, I spent most of the day watching Netflix. Today, I want to focus on a few things I need to get done… and just enjoy some Simply Red. I’m not overthinking things today.
My flight is at 00:40, and it’s a long 18-hour journey to Amsterdam, with a stop in Jeddah.
Feeling empty, wanting to be with Grace
Last night, I felt so empty and lonely in the airport. I so miss Grace and feel guilty about her not being around anymore. I miss the connection we shared—whether it was traveling together, sharing a meal, being silly and laughing, or just showing affection.
I’ve changed so much since meeting Grace. Before I met her, I needed love, attention, and affection all mixed together. Grace gave me self-worth, unconditional love, and trust, something I hadn’t truly experienced before. Before Grace, I struggled with feelings of low self-esteem.
When Grace started showing symptoms of FTD, I felt incredibly alone.
Though I feel alone now, my heart feels closed, and I’ve become emotionally unavailable. Tina is right—I’ve built my independence and self-reliance. The ongoing battles with the kids, especially Sarah, have made me realise that no contact with them works for both me and them.
