Dear Grace,
Big Boots
You’ve certainly got “big boots” to fill. I struggle to think of anyone as beautiful both on the inside and outside as you. But I’ve come to realize that I would rather be alone than with someone who isn’t close to you in the way you were to me. I’m not looking for a carbon copy, but your incredible values and the kindness and care you showed me were truly special. You never carried baggage, and you tolerated all my flaws.
New Year’s Concert
I went to a wonderful New Year’s concert at the Auditorio y Palacio de Congresos El Batel in Cartagena, with Diana. We had a great time, and I’m so happy that Diana enjoyed her first experience like this. The soprano, Berna Perles, was amazing. Diana always makes me laugh, and I truly enjoy her company.
Anger and Alcohol
Last night, I drank far too much wine and behaved poorly towards K. I owe her an apology. I know now that only actions can repair this. Why have I become so angry since my early 40s? Since you became ill, I’ve found myself drawn into fighting injustice, but alcohol sometimes fuels my anger. I need to break this cycle and find a way to move forward—being both compassionate with myself and assertive when needed.
Dealing with Grief: Particularly Anger and Sadness
To help me process my grief, I’ve started reading Navigating Intense Grief – How to Recover from a Devastating Loss by Emily Vandenberg. I need to work through my grief more deeply, understand it better, and learn to navigate my feelings of anger and sadness. One of her recommendations is to keep a grief journal, answering a series of questions over a month. So, I’ll begin with this…
Day 1: Write about your fondest memory with your loved one and how it makes you feel
Dear Grace, I would love nothing more than to lie in bed with you and just watch TV. It was our time together, simple and uncomplicated. We’d cuddle up on winter evenings, and I always felt so comfortable with you. We were just in love without even realizing it—at least, I may not have consciously thought about it. Even as we grew older, I cherished those moments. I know Rutger enjoyed them too. I miss them terribly and am deeply saddened that I’ll never experience them again.
Why Do Some Owners Make Me Angry and Want to Fight Injustice?
L – He constantly complains but never takes any action to solve his perceived problems. His complaints often seem trivial, and he expects others to fix them. He says he has no interest in becoming president but complains about everything, including me. He mentions that J “never listens,” and the issues just go in one ear and out the other. L suggested, at least twice, I replace J as president in November. But L wants things his way, installing a camera at the front of his property and a satellite dish in a communal area. I can’t find any record that he received permission for this, yet he’s happy to complain about others breaking the rules. His behavior seems to be entirely self-serving, as shown by his push for the swimming pool rail.
J – I think I’ve said enough about my thoughts on his performance. He claimed I made false accusations. But what exactly are these accusations? Adobe mentioned that he blocked the WhatsApp group, and he said a decision was made to defer the painting, yet there’s no record of this in the minutes. There are also other things said about J by L and P, and I’d be happy to share them.
P – In my view, P is the politician of the group. He implied that he wanted rid of Johan as president, then took the role himself. Now, he’s asserting his authority, but what exactly is he doing?
I’ve read through the minutes and would like to ask those who attended the meeting, including Adobe and the new president, whether the minutes and the decisions made are fully compliant with the law. Do Adobe, the former president, and the current president fully understand the Ley de Propiedad Horizontal (LPH)? I will formally write to Adobe to ask them to confirm, as property management experts, whether the minutes and the decisions are in full compliance with the law.
Looking at the meeting attendees, it feels like the same people are involved; they’ve just swapped chairs. I see no real communication with other owners, and I feel this was an opportunity for something more inclusive. Instead, unresolved issues remain in the minutes. For example, Number 36 may feel uncertain about the future, and Number 34a may feel their concerns have been ignored. There seems to be no effort to make everyone feel comfortable.
L got his swimming pool rail, but we have no idea if this represents value for money. We never know if anything Adobe does is good value, as we never see any evidence of them seeking multiple proposals for work.
The postboxes still have rust on their frames, but the president deems them fit for purpose. As for the exterior walls, I’ve decided that after little progress, I just want my walls cleaned and restored to their original condition. I don’t mind the color of Number 36’s walls, and the minutes now say no action will be taken. However, as the walls were never originally painted, I want the damp treated and the walls washed.
Regarding the minutes, when they refer to external walls, which specific walls are they talking about? The front and back, or just the front-facing walls? The wording is unclear, like mud.
As for the WhatsApp group, I’m fine with not being part of it. As an owner, I have my rights, and if I feel the group isn’t providing value, I don’t need to be part of it. All matters should be communicated formally otherwise.
Final Thoughts – Nothing seems to have moved forward; the same old approach was handed over from the old president to the new one. As one resident put it, we now have the Playa Mar Swimming Pool Community Fund. I’m fine with that, but I just want to ensure we drive down costs.
Writing as Therapy
When I write down my thoughts, like in this message, I do feel better. It’s a form of self-therapy. I think it’s not so much about injustice as it is about the lack of respect for others shown by some of these individuals.
I miss you!
David
