Dear Grace,
G is F@@king Angry
G is angry. If I don’t respond to her messages, she thinks I’m ignoring her intentionally. Then, when I message her regularly, she feels it’s too much. She’s clearly dealing with a lot of trauma from her past. I’ve faced all sorts of judgments from her, followed by rules and conditions. This is just too complicated for me.
Grace, you’d tell me, “No way—stay well clear of her,” and I’d agree. We’ve been on a tough enough journey over the last few years. I don’t have it in me now—probably not in the future either—to take care of someone like her.
So, it’s back to Tinder! I’ll admit I’m getting a bit snobbish. If someone lives in Benidorm, it’s a no from me. Living in Murcia is a plus—I think it’s a classy city. Cartagena is lovely too. Alicante, though, feels a bit too far.
Juan Antonio
I’m sitting in your favourite café in Lo Pagan, Juan Antonio, drinking coffee and having toast with tomato and olive oil while writing my journal. It’s healthy for me to get out instead of staying in the apartment all day. This morning, I was in Torrevieja for my Spanish class.
Christmas is sorted
Fernando and Lara have come to my rescue and ensured I won’t be spending Christmas alone. They, along with Fernando’s mother, have been so kind. I must admit, I was dreading the thought of being on my own this Christmas.
Dinner with Diana
I had dinner with Diana, and I love her company. It’s always fun and engaging conversation. As my Spanish improves, I’m using Google Translate less and starting to have simple (albeit pigeon-like) conversations. We ate at La Alacena de María in Cartagena. The food was excellent—I highly recommend it.
Spanish
I’m starting to enjoy learning Spanish. I recognize more and more words as my vocabulary grows. I’m definitely moving from A1 into A2 territory, with the goal of being ready—or nearly ready—for B1. The more I immerse myself, the better.
I’m applying lessons I learned from studying Dutch. Every day, I create a crib sheet and copy all the words I don’t fully remember. This technique worked for me with Dutch, and I understand it’s a proven method by a famous memory expert. I’ve also started reading the newspaper. I can manage simple articles now and learn a few new words each time.
What happened with Dutch is now happening with Spanish—people speak to me in Spanish, and rather than saying, “I don’t speak Spanish,” I can now nod, smile, and acknowledge them.
Growing Facial Hair
I am growing some stubble, so I’ve decided to give it a try. I’m not so sure about it. One friend said it makes me look a little older, while another thinks I look good with it. We’ll see in a week or two. It’s something I never tried with you.
Grief is the Price We Pay for Love
Yesterday, I posted something nice about you on Instagram.
FTD Survivors
I wrote to the FTD Survivors group yesterday. I was invited 😊 after you passed away. The members are all people who’ve lost partners to FTD, and they’re a lovely group. Here’s the message I sent:
Hi all, a few honest reflections…
It’s hard to believe that in just a few days, it will have been six months since Grace passed away. I miss her deeply and think about her every day, though I’m moving forward. I know I’m not alone in finding the journey with Grace—and her passing—such a transformative experience.
Before and during the early days of her diagnosis, I went through incredibly difficult times, especially between late 2020 and mid-2021. During that period, I found myself searching for love elsewhere, only to end up heartbroken twice. I even reached a point where I wished I wouldn’t wake up the next day. I remember telling my grief therapist that I drank enough wine to fall asleep at night, hoping I wouldn’t have to face another morning.
I’m truly grateful for the specialist support I received during that time. It helped me work through my grief and ultimately led to a deeper reconnection with Grace. Despite her illness, I now have so many precious memories to reflect on.
When I meet others who are single, I’m reminded of how incredibly fortunate I was to have been with Grace. Our relationship was stable, loving, and filled with happiness. She was endlessly patient and supportive, always there for me in ways I’ll forever be grateful for.
I hope everyone is as well as they can be. I’m here if anyone wants to chat. Wishing you all a wonderful festive period. Take care, and thank you for your support.
Love always,
David
