Where I am going? What am I doing?
Yesterday I had a dip and I am still in it. Ultimately, I keep feeling I should fill my time with something.
A few years into the FTD journey with Grace, I really started to question the meaning and purpose of life. I had spent nearly 50 years of it blindly just following the standard path that many follow. Being brought up, getting educated, finding a partner, bringing up children, building career to help care for my family, create opportunity for them, and to feel some self worth.
Why do humans exist?
For some reason I’ve become all philosophical the last few days. With me asking myself ‘why do humans exist?’
To reproduce? But even then why reproduce? For what purpose? To consume things? To destroy our planet. Why don’t the Green parties and Greenpeace promote the idea of eliminating reproduction – that would be the ultimate way to preserve the planet 😂. As less humans equals less consumption. Surely there would be less suffering to? Less diseases. More space to roam and live. Greater need to cooperate and share amongst each other globally.
Greenpace UK actually produced an article in 2022 on Why Greenpeace doesn’t campaign on population. It is ambiguous article, getting into the subject or rich versus poor countries, and those with lots of wealth versus those in poverty.
Bees live from 6-8 weeks in the summer and up to 5 months in the winter in a hive. Their purpose is pretty clear, they pollinate, help maintain biodiversity and produce honey.
Ask ChatGpt what the purpose of humans is? Surely, it can come up with a succinct answer drawing upon all the content from across the Internet. Yet the answer is unclear. It refers to reproduction, with no clear reason provided as to why and otherwise discusses the philosophical and religious viewpoints of our living. There is no clear purpose stated for humans.
I wake up and feel like I should not waste the day. But why? Why fill my day with stuff? Surely if I have served my purpose of reproducing, then I have no other purpose.
More money and consuming more does not make you happy
Being in Dubai for a few months taught me a few lessons. One, which we all know is true, is that more money definitely does not make you happy. I remember my therapist saying I should try and give it a go and enjoy myself, enjoying life in Dubai. I could go to nice restaurants, drink nice bottles of wine, buy all the gadgets I wanted and where nice designer clothes. Yet this did not make me happy.
Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy with the decision I made to stop with normal day to day working. I am also extremely grateful for this opportunity (note, and I need to say this, I would swap it all to bring Grace back). I suppose it is a journey of discovery. My life was destined to follow the norm of working closer to retirement age and then enjoying the remaining years of my life.
It does bring up the question of where governments should fund retirement at all. Instead, do as the US and UK do (along with many other countries), which is drive individuals to largely save and fund their own retirements. Giving individuals the opportunity to decide when they want to stop work at all or otherwise the length of their retirement. Equally, if someone because chronically ill then surely they should be able to access their retirement funds and use them as they wish before they pass away e.g. a trip of a lifetime.
